Neal’s Israeli Drinking Game, Version 1.0
Drink one shot when:
- Wondering why Ace Hardware sells more home furnishings than actual hardware.
- Wondering why Ace Hardware is actually in Israel.
- Encountering an offhand racist comment towards Palestinians/Bedouins/Arabs/insert minority here from someone who seemed cool 15 minutes before.
- Walking through Tel Aviv and encountering someone in a Einstuerzende Neubauten/Nick Cave/Bauhaus shirt.
- Walking through Beersheva and encountering someone in a bootleg Deep Purple shirt.
- The nearest street sign is misspelled in Hebrew, Arabic and English.
- You compliment a minor aspect of Israel (the coffee, the opposite sex, etc.) and the other party ‘s response is “you should move here!”
- The price lists at a falafel stand in Tel Aviv are different in Hebrew and English.
Drink two shots when:
- An everyday task requires a trip to a shopping mall that looks imported directly from America.
- The old sabra at your bus stop gets upset Israel even has shopping malls.
- An everyday task requires three hours of bureaucracy and forms.
- When dealing with said bureaucrat, they’re sitting at a desk and chainsmoking in front of a no-smoking sign in a government office.
Drink three shots when:
- The bureaucrat offers you a cigarette.
